accreta experience:

Lindsey dwyer

accreta experience: Lindsey Dwyer

Spending the holidays in the hospital

I don’t imagine anyone gets pregnant expecting, or hoping that they will spend a significant amount of that time in the hospital. With maternal mortality rates doubling in the last 25 years these long hospitalizations are becoming more common. 

Not that there is ever a particularly good time to have your life upended for medical reasons… It’s a particularly hard pill to swallow when it comes being hospitalized over a holiday or in our case the entire holiday season. I won’t pretend it was easy, and that it didn’t cast an enormous pall over our entire family (even extended family) BUT for families in this situation it can still FEEL like the holidays! 

In November 2017 24-25 weeks pregnant with my third baby I hemorrhaged in my kitchen with my three year old son present. Over the flurry of the next two weeks and numerous close calls we were faced with a sobering diagnosis of full previa, percreta with organ invasion, partial abruption of the uterus, and PROM (water broke). I was on hospital bed rest confined to my room (unless I was confined to another room for magnesium) with a scary looking central line placed. We were advised by this point to get our “affairs in order” because they were very concerned I wouldn’t make it out of surgery. Every day we stayed pregnant was a miracle, and after those first early tentative days in the hospital we decided to PLAN the holidays despite the dreary prognosis of this likely being my last Christmas with my two older children. How does one plan holidays in a sterile, cold hospital where you are confined to a single room? Its not as difficult as you would imagine, and there are some fantastic opportunities to bond as a family, and still create memories even in less than ideal circumstances. 

We celebrate Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Years if you celebrate one of those, none of those or different holidays entirely please take what you can use I can only speak to our experience. 

Firstly, partner and mom need to address a glaring elephant in the room… Like many moms I was the CEO and organizer of my home. My husband is great at following lists not so great at making them. He became a single dad overnight. Even with the best preparation this would have been a nightmare. I highly suggest getting a home management binder together. It can be as inclusive or as barebones as you find necessary. The most pressing and useful items were: all bills, accounts, usernames, passwords and due dates of bills. 

I spent a lot of time in bed and those hospital sheets leave so much to be desired for comfort. BUY twin sheets in appealing patterns and a comfy blanket. In cases of PROM please note you will need multiples as the bedding and clothing has to be changed every 24 hours to reduce risk of infection. (partners this is a great job for you and the kids). Getting the kids involved in “helping” make mom feel better gives those little minds a sense of control and they truly feel like they are helping when they can feel more comfy in moms space. As you can imagine; hospitals were not designed for busy kids! 

Having mentioned clothing this will vary from hospital to hospital, but unless you are on magnesium in labor and delivery you can usually wear your own clothing. I swear they make hospital gowns in a universally horrible color on purpose. Tips for clothing selections stretchy neck lines as in you could slip an arm out of the neck hole, I preferred sleeveless then a sweater the layers make it easier to adjust your temp and easier in case you have lines placed in your arms. As for pants the stretchiest comfiest joggers were my favorite and they doubled as postpartum wear. Socks… hospitals are gross and your feet may swell. Shoes are pretty useless in bed but comfy chenille like socks make even a rough day better! Everyone who visits can bring you a pair it’s a fabulous little pick me up.

I normally cook with my mom for thanksgiving… the idea of cooking alone depressed her so much my family opted to do something completely different instead of trying to overcompensate at a dinner where I couldn’t be and trying to pretend it was “ok”. This actually was better for all involved. The family all ate at my parents country club and then brought me a whole meal to the hospital and I got a full thanksgiving meal with my kids, parents, brother, and husband without my mom being totally overwhelmed having just cooked and cleaned an entire meal then having to come to the hospital. There are many local restaurants that offer thanksgiving menus and for many families where the hospital is not close to home this may be a more feasible option.

The day after Thanksgiving I had a major bleed. Thankfully it resolved, and I was able to continue being pregnant, but still in the hospital. I was so excited to get back to my room and saw it was all decorated! My mom got a small tree and took my kids to pick out special ornaments for my hospital room, husband put up lights and brought me my diffuser and essential oils from home. My nurses started coming in to my room to just “relax”. My husband did an amazing job creating a home from my sterile hospital room that even my kids truly enjoyed. My husband and mom took turns bringing each child up to my room to wrap gifts with me. We tried to keep many of traditions the same if possible but didn’t force the impossible. By Christmas Day my condition had declined, but we did have a nice day. My whole family had Christmas Day together in my hospital room.

It likely won’t go smoothly and it definitely won’t be the storybook holiday you pinned. It can be beautiful, it can be hopeful, and you absolutely can still enjoy it. I hope your hospital stay is less miserable, I hope you can find solace that it’s temporary. Blessings to you this holiday season.

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“Accreta Experiences” is a National Accreta Foundation produced series where accreta survivors write articles sharing their placenta accreta experiences and learnings in their own words to help those new to the accreta community.

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